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Poster: bluedevil Date: Jan 14, 2009 12:32pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: ryan adams (hiatus time for awhile)

Looks like Atlanta will be his last show for awhile:

Ryan Adams Quitting Music
Blog Indicates Adams Is Happier Than Ever and Will Stop Playing Music For Now

Ryan Adams
Earlier today (01/14) Ryan Adams posted a long statement on his blog indicating that following the final scheduled show with The Cardinals on March 20 in Atlanta, he will be quitting music, at least for the time being. What follows is taken directly from Adams' blog http://cave.cardinology.com:

me- 34-a non smoker and happy, for the first time in my life.. i am excited to finish this wonderful time i have had with the cardinals and whatever new adventures may come after march. atlanta will be my last venture with the band and i am grateful for the time we have had and maybe someday we will have more stories to tell together. i am however ready for quieter times as i think it is very evident i am struggling with some balance and hearing issues.

also, no drama or anything but i am okay to step back from all of this right now and i think i did enough manic blogging when i felt alone and isolated during the last few years of travel. these last few years were the hardest i can remember and the most rewarding but i have loved ones to care for now and i am lucky i have been given a chance to turn around and see just what i am capable of as a friend and as someone who is not gone forever every year- it rendered me incapable of things i needed to be to myself and others- and my schedule sometimes never ended when the shows did- and some of that was my doing. and i lost someone i loved, and i lost myself.

that changed. i got to know just who i am in this little spell of time here recently. and change is the nature of the world and i naturally embrace that.

i won't be blogging here anymore either- but not for effect- it just is not being kind to myself- i need a life that is mine- i need to grow up and grow in to who i have subtly been working back towards since i stopped all that nonsense and i know also no matter what i choose to do in the music world, because i chose to do things my way and never lie i will always be viewed as an "asshole" (i hear and have seen things in the past) and i am not, and i know the truth and i know who i am.

also it is kind of ridiculous to blog as i am a musician and anything i say here just gets reprinted at some point out of context. i say NOT FAIR but it doesn't matter what i say anymore or what is fair anymore really does it- the 21st century media has it's own rules about what is true and what is not. it is not a life- not one i want to live anyway and i don't really care to participate in narcissistic over-indulgent behavior anymore- that was never my intention- i just wanted to fight for my right to make music and to be given the benefit of the doubt. now, because i have stood up for myself and fought for myself i am labeled all kinds of awful things. well, i will walk away now and it will not matter what anyone say's. there are other things i can do in this life, other ways to be creative and to try and help others and be expressive without being demonized for attempting to gain the same things any other human being desires- love- friendship- understanding- and being able to express yourself without constant fear of being mistreated for speaking up

i have friends to make, brand new books coming (two of em' not counting that one already printed and on it's way out there and i LOVE writing...yay!) and a whole lot of living and learning to do.

i am excited to step away. i lost more than anyone will ever know (hearing, someone i loved, my sense of dignity, a never ending losing battle with stage fright and now my hearing and balance due to an inner ear issue- people accusing me of not being sober when i am suffering tremendous pain and nausea from my inner ear symptoms- people accusing me of theft (THEFT- ...awful) and this is not much of a life, not glamorous like those ridiculous video's a long time ago television played and no it is not monetarily as rewarding as people would like you to believe and yes, it is soul destroying. especially when you spend your life trying to write about the really difficult stuff and you stand there losing your way and people yell at you like you were in a circus. when it was your dream to matter and you realize one day, it never mattered- i mean, i am a punch-line and a footnote in what is worse to yell at someone besides "free-bird". i mean, i lost. and it's okay because i seriously snuck some pretty neat idea's in there in the work when i was making those mistakes or they were being made by others. this business is no science.

and you know, whatever this is- it's not my dream. and it is a punishing thing to endure when you are getting worse and worse- it's not my dream, my dream was to try and tap into that energy i saw watching Minutemen vcr tapes when i was just a little shit in NC of mike watt's crazy shaking leg and his electric fingers- or how sonic youth droned into beautiful clouds those guitars shaking, kim and steve rattling the pulsing lines into feverish thudding imaginary subway cars racing through my heart- and how it felt to just let go and static up a riff and find the sweet spot- but getting yelled at for just being a songwriter- to be called so many horrid things because i chose to love music so much, and also to look for peace and balance in my life- that is not kindness and just not my thing. at least not now.

and i loved somebody. and i let others decided if that was okay and that was wrong and i was wrong and no one should deny themselves or others love or understanding because people don't get it. that was an awful mistake. i always make big mistakes. it's like i let myself learn that because that was a role, a niche' i filled that make sense to a loud voice of strangers who would never really play a real part in my life.

never become that if you choose this path- if you go this route with your art. never listen to those loud dissatisfied bystanders who only want to see you fail because that will be entertaining for that moment. hold fast to your dreams, hold faster to your heart and never step out of the light of that love that made you whole. i did. and i know better now. and better late than never i suppose.

but i am okay now. i see a peaceful way to better days now. i am healing. and most importantly i feel loved and i have learned to treat myself with that same curiosity and lover that i have been lucky enough to feel and to learn to let guide my life. love is the great teacher and i am happy to be learning now. happy to be listening to that over this never ending painful ringing. this is the great lesson of my life. for once i want to be dignified in my study and in one place long enough to hear and understand without my pride or my lack of faith in myself leading me further away from things i need to know once and for all.

this is the real work now. the rest is something else entirely.

quitting smoking was a good step and i am happy i also am just now beginning to understand how important it is i take better care of myself in every way right now. hell i am even beginning to sleep a little and i can feel the things good and bad that i did not have time to feel when i was running towards a new oblivion of work, hoping somehow someday what i did would be accepted and maybe that would make me feel loved. how foolish.

that is not love. love is being accepted for who you are. love is taking care of yourself and caring for others and dreaming out loud when it matters. not chasing rainbows. not hoping for some eventual collective sigh of approval which will never come. how did i ever think in those terms? i always knew better. thank goodness i know now how to be honest with myself.

anyway, enjoy these shows (i will enjoy them immensely and i will miss them just as much) and know that i am not abandoning anyone, not the cardinals and not the fans, this is just something i need to do now, and that i loved playing music in the cardinals and hell, even before i was in a place to try and learn to be well, music was my life source- and cardinals was such a heavy crush and a real dream...i honor it too much to have any regrets right now, i am just proud.

maybe we will play again sometime and maybe i will work my way back into some kind of music situation but this is the time for me to step back now, to reel it in and i wish everyone peace and happiness and if music is your dream, or if just dreaming is your dream, may you find your way through the rough patch with ease and i hope you let go and it takes you all the way there-

loving kindness to all.

R

Ryan Adams tour dates available here. Catch him while you can.

http://www.ryan-adams.com/

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Poster: Administrator, Curator, or StaffNoiseCollector Date: Jan 14, 2009 12:42pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: ryan adams (hiatus time for awhile)

That cuts like a knife.

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Poster: amosearle Date: Jan 14, 2009 1:44pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: ryan adams (hiatus time for awhile)

Ha!

Yes, I get the Bryan vs. Ryan all the time when I tell people about discovering the Cardinals.

Sounds like the man needs a real break to me...

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Poster: bluedevil Date: Jan 14, 2009 1:54pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: ryan adams (hiatus time for awhile)

Looks that way - glad to see he'll take the time for himself and get away and do whatever. That will allow him to come back; it's when you don't step away from the beast and let it control you that things get dicey. Too bad a certain fat man (and/or those around him) couldn't get the time away he needed to stay in it for the long haul...

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Poster: bluedevil Date: Jan 15, 2009 11:01am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: ryan adams (more drama)

Ryan Adams Saga Continues
Ryan Adams continues to stir controversy, and confuse readers, on his blog. Yesterday the singer/songwriter surprised many fans by announcing that he would take a break from playing music and, last night, Adams refined post and took a stab at the media for taking his statements out of context . This morning Adams has posted yet another blog entry, affirming that he plans to take a break from the music world following a spring tour with his band the Cardinals.

“I am very sorry if my blog post concerning my need to walk away for however long from cardinals( and from doing music related to the music i have made during my solo career and during my very long and substantially frustrating time at my former label ) was alarming or shocking or seemed off base,” Adams posted early this morning. “It was not my intention to be dramatic. I feel like i am entitled to my feelings and that i certainly do not deserve to be further ridiculed for my deteriorating inner ear issues and the physical pain that goes along with that.”

Adams hints that going forward the Cardinals may tour without him. In the December/January issue of Relix, Cardinals principle Neal Casal mentions that the members of the group often rehearses without their erratic frontman and are comfortable with a repertoire of over 150 songs.

“In all seriousness I hope the guys decide to do something w/o me truly as they are far better musicians than I and if anything I think i was holding the band back,” Adams continues. “I hardly feel like i am over-reaching or being dramatic by saying it is in my and every one’s best interest to do what is best for all concerned and I am just not cutting it anymore. I mean, I know I will really give this last tour here my all…i think it is the best decision for me. and of course, i just want what is best fort everyone. that music deserves a shot and i don’t mind people saying i was too prolific or over-indulgent in writing and recording. in my mind i was racing against the clock and the inevitable dissolution of my hearing and in that respect i won. i stayed true to the inspiration and the muse.”

The guitarist's latest post ends with an extended definition of Ménière’s disease, an inner ear problem that can lead to Vertigo. Adams admitted to suffering from Ménière’s disease in his initial blog post.

from jambands.com

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Poster: Morning Dewd Date: Jan 15, 2009 11:45am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: ryan adams (more drama)

Maybe he's right about holding them back.
I've been a R.A. fan since the Whiskeytown days, but I would definitely check out the Cardinals on their own.

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Poster: bluedevil Date: Jan 14, 2009 12:43pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: ryan adams (hiatus time for awhile)

Ha!